Climbing
by WaterBookLover
Summary: SasuNaru. They've been together for years, a secret no one's known. But with Sasuke empty inside, and Naruto slowly breaking, what will happen? NEW! FLUFF! Two alternate endings! Just ignore if you liked the original angsty ending better... COMPLETE!
1. Left Me a Fool

Hey! This is my first _official_ Naruto fic (and shounen-ai one!). My first attempt ("Narcissus") was so horrible I deleted it and decided to wait for the gods of inspiration to be a little more accepting of the idea. Do you ever have that problem where you have really great ideas, but the second you write them down they're worthless? Well, that's what it's like for me.

            This story was inspired (and gets its title) from the name of a tape I have of my ex step mom's singing from the year before we met. She had (and still sort of has) a really great voice. Well on this tape are a much of songs, some her own, but mostly songs from different artists. I haven't yet asked her permission if I can use her songs, so I'll just stick with the one(s) that aren't hers.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. If Naruto was mine there would be sooooo much more romance. If the songs were mine…. Um….  All I own is the tape, probably the only one that exists in the world…

Warnings: shounen-ai of the SasuNaru variety (did I really need to tell you that?), angst galore, slight NC, songfic. I wasn't sure whether this would count as PG-13 or R, so I decided to play it safe with R.

One-shot? More chapters? If there is more chapters it will go backwards in time, starting with this chapter, and getting slightly more fluffy in each chapter until they reach the beginning of their relationship or even earlier….

Climbing

Chapter One?: Indigo Girls: Left Me a Fool

_Everybody loves you  
And they want to know your story  
You go riding out a mystery  
Concealed in all your glory_

            He sighed, and snuggled closer to other figure, his forehead resting against a pale back. The darkness of the room concealed the clutter of the apartment (ramen cups and ninja scrolls scattered liberally), as well as the bruise on his cheek. His dark haired lover's fangirls had been especially vigorous that day. When they had discovered that Sasuke had escaped their incessant babbling while Naruto had been distracting them all by bragging about how Sasuke was such a jerk and Naruto could beat him any day, they gave him such a beating that that day in the class room after the "first kiss" seemed to pale in comparison. Naturally Kyuubi had healed him, but the final bruise had yet to completely heal. Of course, all the girls were as deeply in love with Sasuke as they had been five years ago. No girl spared a glance toward the now quite attractive Naruto, their parents attitude toward him still blocking their capacity to find him as anything more than a friend. Hinata, who had confessed to him and been politely rejected, had moved on to Kiba.

_But when it comes to flesh and bones  
You remind me of shallot  
Only made of shadows  
Even though you're not_

Life had been… happy for once when they had first gotten together. The blonde boy's happiest memories were when he was with his boyfriend, kissing, touching, training, or simply just being together, in each other's arms. But things had been changing…. Naruto was beginning to see the real Sasuke, and he didn't like what he saw at all.

_I remember how I spent   
All my energy and time   
With affected conversation  
Trying to pry inside your mind_

For a long time after being accepted by the one he loved, he had no longer felt the need to drive Sasuke insane with chatter designed to try desperately to figure out what Sasuke thought of him. He knew that the ramblings had driven the Uchiha insane, but he just needed a get a reaction, any reaction out of him…

Lately, he had started doing it again. He hadn't meant to, at first he didn't understand why he did it, but as time went on, and Naruto started to feel more and more insecure, he started talking more and more.

Naruto pressed his head harder against the back, willing its owner to turn around and hold him.

_You are as beautiful as truth  
And as empty as a shell  
And I came to you one night  
And it made me feel like hell_

A shell… That was the only word that could properly describe Sasuke…. He had subconsciously first come to suspect right before Sasuke had run off to finally kill Itachi. Sasuke had been incredibly restless before he left: snappish, even going so far as to threaten his younger lover's life, Sharingan in full battle mode. Naruto still shivered in the night when he remembered those red eyes, black commas beginning to swirl dangerously. Only Naruto's trembling and frightened face (which had been steadily turning blue from lack of oxygen) seemed to bring Sasuke out of whatever thoughts weighed him down. He had apologized, but….

 When Sasuke had returned… he was like a corpse. Most people didn't notice, of course. To them he was still Sasuke the Ice Prince.

But Naruto noticed.

_Oh to reach through all your surface  
Just to find an empty pool  
And to suffer all your pride  
As I lay down by your side  
And you swallowed up my heart   
And left me a fool  
Left me a fool  
  
_

The dark haired boy had gone back to calling him "Dobe." As if all those years together hadn't meant a thing. He seemed to lord over the other boy, that he had killed Itachi and Naruto hadn't, although why the Hokage wannabe would want to do so in the first place remained a mystery. At night, which had once been a time of gentleness and love confessions, there was nothing. Sasuke would arrive, Naruto would let him in, they'd get undressed, and go to bed. That was it. No words were spoken, there were no caresses, no intimate touching. The few times Naruto had tried to entice his boyfriend had been disastrous. Either Sasuke would push Naruto off in an irritated manner and not come back the next day, or he would be so rough with Naruto it _hurt_, and didn't feel good at all. Despite all this, the kitsune could no more think of breaking off their relationship as he could physically stop himself from breathing.

_Everybody loves a hero  
An image to create  
The antithesis of everything   
Inside ourselves we hate  
But you'd better close your eyes   
When it's time for them to die  
Because you'd hate to think the life   
You'd built upon them was a lie_

_Oh to reach through all your surface  
Just to find an empty pool  
And to suffer all your pride  
As I lay down by your side  
And you swallowed up my heart   
And left me a fool  
Left me a fool  
  
_

Sasuke was Konoha's hero. Despite his attempt to join Orochimaru, despite the fact that it was Naruto who brought Sasuke back, most of the village still saw Sasuke as the genius and Naruto as the demon. His friends didn't agree with the philosophy, but as of now they were a minority. Maybe when all the elders had died and the new generation took their places that things would change. Naruto still saw the cold glares and the hatred, but he also saw Sasuke trying to indirectly protect him. When he saw that he would remember how much he loved Sasuke and give one of his real smiles for him, not the fox grin, but a real smile. None of this happened anymore. He was no longer being protected.

Sasuke ignored the glares as if it didn't matter and their friends never realized…

_I resign myself to silence  
I will never blow your cover  
No one ever has to know   
Who the hero took for lover  
But it has come to mind as you blaze on   
As brilliant as a star  
How many you've left behind  
How many casualties there are_

            Only one person knew of their relationship: Sakura. It had been impossible to keep it from her. She had known something was up with her teammates and had promptly threatened to leave them to the mercy of Inner Sakura if the didn't 'fess up… She had taken the news that her long time crush was in love with a boy, her own teammate no less, surprisingly well. Apparently, her fangirl tendencies had merely become habit, just as Naruto still called out "SAKURA-CHAAAAAAAN" every morning. She supported them fully, and when she wasn't laughing too hard, she helped Sasuke escape from the rabid fangirls. It had come as a surprise to her when Sasuke, still reluctant to admit to the world that he loved Naruto, asked if it would be alright if she would pretend to be his girlfriend. She had hesitated, glancing anxiously at Naruto, seeing the pained, but accepting look and nod, and had said yes. It had hurt. Oh yes, it had hurt so badly knowing that Sasuke would rather have a pretend girlfriend to try to stave off fangirls (which didn't work -_-;;;) than admit the truth.

            It also hurt how much lower in rank he was. Sasuke was now an Anbu, leader of a squad, and rumored candidate for next Hokage, despite his young age. Naruto had never been able to get away from the villagers' prejudice enough to earn the rank on Jounin. Yes, Naruto was still a Chuunin, working at his favorite ramen stand as a part time job and taking missions. He had given up on becoming Jounin last year. It had killed something in him to give up his dream like that, but what could he do?

_Oh to reach through all your surface  
Just to find an empty pool  
And to suffer all your pride  
As I lay down by your side  
And you swallowed up my heart _

He slipped out of the small bed, making sure the other didn't awaken. Very quietly he got dressed and exited the room softly. After all, it wouldn't do to get caught and stopped, now would it? A note was left on the kitchen table, as a shadow ghosted through the door.

The view of Konoha was splendid from the top of the Hokage monument.

'Sasuke…. Will you miss me? Did you…. Did you ever really love me? I know the villagers will rejoice that I'll be gone. But will you? I hurt when I'm away from you, I hurt when I'm close to you. I can't stand this anymore. My heart… It hurts so much. Maybe Gaara had the right idea. You know, the one about only loving oneself? Yeah. I just wish I knew what you really felt about me. I know longer have any dreams. My only reason for living is you. But when you are so close, yet so far away from me, how am I supposed to feel? Sasuke, I love you. I'll always love you. Good bye.' Dark eyes scanned the note in a panic, having been woken by the loss of warmth by his side. He cursed himself for being so wrapped up in his own Itachi complex, believing that being distant meant his loved one couldn't be hurt. Of course the dark eyed one loved his only reason for living. But Itachi's last threat right before the end of the battle had still been resounding through his head: _'What will you do now, outoto? Two boys cannot make a clan. The next time I see you with him as more than just a teammate, I'll come for him, and kill him.' 'But what about the Kyuubi?...' 'I am tired of constantly trying to get him and failing. No, I'd rather have the satisfaction of killing him now.'_ True, Itachi was dead now, but the fear of the threat lived on. So he had tried to let Naruto go, intentionally ignoring and sometimes hurting him. It hadn't worked, but had only served to further tear the last Uchiha's heart apart. Who was the real baka now? Dark eyes ran off into the night hoping that he wouldn't be too late before he lost his sunshine.

He stepped off.

_And left me a fool  
Left me a fool_

Rain poured down. Inside a cold mansion, pale wrists stained a tub Sharingan red. Soon… Soon he would be with his sunshine once more. For the first time in a long time, pale thin lips smiled and mouthed, "Wait for me," into the silent air.

Owari?


	2. Alternate Ending 1

Climbing by Sailor Book/Water Mistress

Disclaimer: see Ch1

Warning: see Ch1, completely written without a beta, fluff

**_NOTE, PLEASE READ_**:  Ok… I was originally thinking that if this fic was going to be multi chaptered, it would start at their deaths and go backwards in time to when their were more fluffy moments (because there is only so much angst I can stand before I want to kill something to get a happy ending). But as I noticed that some of you wanted a happy ending or for me to continue, and since my original idea would have confused even me, I've decided that here are two short alternate endings:

AE 1: Sasuke and Naruto are dead and meet up in the afterlife

AE 2: They live, and everything is all fluffy.

New Story (Untitled as of yet): A prequel of sorts. This will be about how Sasuke and Naruto fall in love and how their relationship winds up ending in Climbing.

Alternate Ending 1: Death

Uzumaki Naruto sat on a cloud, waiting. He'd seen Sasuke's reaction to his death, and no matter how much the blond tried to stop him, waving his arms about and yelling

"Sasuke! Sasuke!! Idiot! Baka!! Don't!!" the Uchiha still seemed determined to kill himself. Naruto pouted, but was secretly happy that Sasuke really did love him. Maybe now the kitsune would get answers as to why his dark haired savior had been so mean. He whined as he sensed behind his closed eyes, still pouting, the other soul approach,

"Sasuke! Why did you kill yourself?" Two arms wrapped themselves around him, pulling him toward the boy behind him.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I'm so sorry. I love you so much." Raindrops hit the head of Naruto's soul. Naruto looked at the sky, slightly confused. It wasn't raining! Then why… oh…

"I was just so afraid! Even though Itachi is dead, I still held the fear that he would kill you like he promised me if I stayed near. And if I pushed you away before killing Itachi… I didn't want you to miss me if I died… I… I also thought that it would be best that the fangirls think that she was my girlfriend so that they wouldn't target you with their hatred…" The arms around his were trembling, shaking with emotions that had been repressed for far too long. The spiky haired shinobi brought his arms over his companions and leaned further back into the embrace.

"It's ok. Let's be together forever from now on, ne? Just you and me?" The other smirked.

"I think I can handle that…. Dobe."

"WHY!! YOU!!" And heaven was lit (or darkened) with colorful curses as laughter filled the air.

Owari 1


	3. Alternate Ending 2

Disclaimer Warnings : See ch 2

Alternate Ending 2: Life

            The first thing Uchiha Sasuke heard when he woke up was an annoying beeping. He decided to analyze the situation before opening his eyes. Who knows where he was and what sort of enemy ninja might spill important information in front of the "unconscious" body of the Sharingan user? Where was he? The beeping continued and as bits and pieces of his last memories came back to him, he realized that the itchy covers and clothes were hospital issued and it was a heart monitor that continued to make that incessant noise…

            'Naruto!' Sasuke's eyes shot wide as the memory came back. Naruto in critical condition, unlikely to survive… Blond. Why was there a blond something in front of his eyes? That was when Sasuke heard a sound that had been there all along but his mind had just refused to register. Someone was crying over him. 'Huh? Who would cry over me? The only blond I know who would do that would be Na… No, don't think about him.'

            At the whispered, "Sasuke," his mind also finally noted the hand clutching his in a bone crunching desperate grip. The voice and the blond hair caused something to click in the invalid's brain. Disbelief and hope colored his response.

            "Naruto?" The golden head raised, and he stared into blue eyes dull from too much crying.

            "Sasuke?" Suddenly arms gingerly wrapped around him, cradling his lover's weak body. "Why? Why did you try to kill yourself Sasuke? You weren't supposed to die!"

            "Because, Dobe, I wouldn't be able to live without my sunshine." Confusion read adorably over Naruto's face.

            "Sunshine?" Sasuke sighed at his love's obliviousness.

            "You, Dobe."

            "Hey! Don't call me that, Sasuke bas— oh…"

            "…."

            "Really, Sasuke?"

            "Really, Dobe."

Owari 2

How did they survive? Simple! Kyuubi refused to let Naruto (and therefore himself) die, and Sasuke was found and saved by Kakashi before he went past the point of no return.


End file.
